Tag Archive | love

Happy Christmas and World Holiday Harmony

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I believe in a spiritual world, one whose inner

most truth we draw breath from.

I believe in a majestic world, full of magnificence

and boundlessness, an outburst of possibility

drifting on an undercurrent of matter, toward

nowhere and everywhere simultaneously.

I believe in a world where I Am that I Am,

a living God and self-actualized Master

who radiates Divine Love.

I believe we can co-create this in a world,

For everyone; Together, Spirit, You and I…

Love Always and Always with Love,

Carol Lefevre

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Happy Holidays, Blessings and Wishes for 2016

Re-capping 2012 and looking forward to 2013

Hmmm, where to begin my reflections of 2012…Generally speaking I would venture to say it was a pretty low, key and relaxing year. My New Years resolution is more or less always the same: be a more loving, compassionate person, follow my guidance and create inner peace, find balance and go with the flow. This year I decided that since it was the year of the great shift I would spend less time working on others and more time enjoying life and bringing more balance into my life.

Balance is a funny thing, take the symbolism of the scales, the slightest weight (say a feather) added or removed on either side completely shifts the whole.

Balance

noun

  1. a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc.
  2. something used to produce equilibrium; counterpoise.
  3. mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.
  4. a state of bodily equilibrium: He lost his balance and fell down the stairs.
  5. an instrument for determining weight, typically by the equilibrium of a bar with a fulcrum at the center, from each end of which is suspended a scale or pan, one holding an object of known weight, and the other holding the object to be weighed.

As a Libra rising with a Libra moon, balance has become an obsession for me at times. Several years ago I came to a bizarre understanding;  finding balance meant considering and being conscious of imbalance first. I think that tipping the scales in the extreme opposites for so many years had allowed me to finally find the balance point and a state of equilibrium. After all that seeking, finding and integrating I have come to realize that although balance is a much sought after state, it is the highs and lows in life that are the real memory makers.

That being said, I tipped the scales toward relaxation, I spent more time in nature and at the beach, read more, started painting again, meditated more, and connected with others more. I guess you could say it was balanced relaxation, this was clearly reflected in the bottom line of my business when the bookkeeper paid me a visit last month, yikes!

So, the biggest highlights of 2012 was the travel.

  • A trip to Costa Rica in March/April that was relaxing, healing and a wonderful spiritual retreat https://carollefevre.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/personal-healing-retreat
  • A short trip to the sunshine coast, Sechelt allowed me to re-connect with previous clients and students while I had an opportunity to facilitate a Holographic Healing workshop. I stayed with a friend I hadn’t connected with for 5 years, it was so nice to spend some time with her and re-connect. http://www.soulalchemyhealing.com/the-melchizedek-method.html
  • I went to the Island, Parksville to help out a dear friend and her husband. It was an intense visit. I mostly worked, I was able to see 9 clients there and did 4 sessions on her husband Richard who had a seizure last year and has completely lost his memory, I mean everything! He didn’t even remember her. And so yet another walk-in has arrived to the earth plane! I pray for his speedy integration.
  • I went to Edmonton in August and re-united with family I hadn’t seen in over 35 years, re-connected with dear friends and had an absolute blast. My beautiful cousin Juanita is an absolute joy to hang with! I soooo wish we lived closer to each other. I had the pleasure of teaching a mini holographic healing workshop there and we did some feng shui in her home. I was able to lend a hand to Deborah an absolutely amazing woman and dear, dear friend while I was there too. OMG, so many things happened in that week it makes my head spin! Everything from yoga, being rescued by a dreamy firefighter, to Drag Queen charity events…wow! I did some serious scale tipping here.
  • Then there was the 10 day silent retreat in Merritt, BC which has definitely changed my life…forever  https://carollefevre.wordpress.com/2012/11/12/10-days-of-silence
  • Then there was the visit here from my gorgeous sister and wonderful mother. Karen and I laughed so hard in the canoe I thought I would pee my pants. I tried to get out on a sandbar and fell in! Watching Karen made me realize how similar I was at her age and how much my values have changed. I am grateful that she decided to come for a visit even though some of our expectations were not met. In the weeks that followed we texted our frustrations and irritations to one another and when it was all over we managed to get back to LOVE. Mom and I started spray it away and mom lost 33lbs in less than 2 months. I lost 15 even with my slip ups 🙂 All in all it was a great visit.

Let’s see…the other BIG thing that happened in 2012 was that I was registered with vital statistics to legally perform weddings, this was a huge breakthrough for me, and so exciting. https://carollefevre.wordpress.com/2012/05/22/its-official-im-official

It was a privilege to marry these two seniors in our home.

Wedding at our home

I took time out to read, and to read something that wasn’t work related. When I say work related I mean anything spiritual. Yep, I read “The fifty shades of grey” series. Entertaining and maybe a little educational…wink, wink!

books

I made it a point to start painting again, and finally managed to bond with acrylic…YES! Here are a couple photos to show you my progress. I decided to create a gallery page on my blog as well. Here is a page with some of my art and the process I went through https://carollefevre.wordpress.com/painting-gallery and here is the blog from when I first started painting: https://carollefevre.wordpress.com/2011/11/02/when-all-hell-breaks-loose-paint

Before:

Abundace

 After:

renos and art 053

I tried something new this year…a piercing. It was an experience I was going to blog about and chose not to. Why, you ask. Well it’s a little personal and I realized that I would take up an entire blog just venting and raging about an experience that still leaves me frustrated and incomplete. Kelly, the owner should thank Vipassana Meditation, not writing the blog has likely saved West Coast Piercing big money.

The bottom line is that I had a botched piercing done by the manager, who has 5 years experience. After 3 visits I contacted the owner, then after some 18 emails, 2 more visits and a re-piercing I am still not satisfied, not to mention that it has cost me 3 times the average price for this type of piercing. If anyone needs some jewellery, I have lots now…

Hmmmm, what else…I began working on my thesis for my Masters in Metaphysics, not so much writing it but doing lots of research. I am hoping to finish it this year…still undecided about the subject. I am considering paradigm shifts, meditation or something about the programming of the unconscious mind. I’m open to any ideas anyone out there may have.

Oh, I nearly forgot, we finally got our hallway, dining room and living room painted this year. It was a nightmare. The previous owners slapped paint on and got it all over the wooden trim. We spent hours upon hours cleaning it off with mild nail polish remover before we could actually paint. All the wooden trim, windows and vaulted ceilings made the process long and strenuous and it looks beautiful now that it is complete.

Before:

Really bad trim painting

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After:

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renos and art 012

renos and art 018

renos and art 014

Oh, one more thing, I learned how to create my own websites. It is so rewarding being able to go onto my site and change things when I want to. I made three new sites and updated the look of my blog. The sites are:

This encouraged me to register my new company: New Perspectives Ministry

So what lies ahead for 2013? Well I have been thinking about that, quite a bit. This is the first year in 12 that I did not do a collage on January 1st. In fact I have decided to take the four that I have up down. I am in detachment mode I suppose. My visions/goals seem to be the same from year to year:

  • Inner Peace
  • The world a loving place
  • Abundance for all
  • Great Health
  • Happy and Healthy Relationships
  • Comfortable Home
  • Excellent Divine Guidance
  • Personal Growth

I am fortunate that for the most part I have all these things. I guess the difference is wanting vs needing. Do I desire a bigger home, more money and a more loving planet…Hell Yes. Am I grateful for the love, abundance, comfort and peace in my life now…Hell Yes! So my focus remains the same; be a more loving, compassionate person, always follow my guidance, create inner peace, find balance and go with the flow, and above all find equanimity in all things.

My dear friends, clients, fellow bloggers and readers; with all my heart, I wish you more magic and miracles than you could imagine would come your way in order for you all to create the reality you desire in 2013…Happy New Year.

May Blessing Abound in your Life Today and Always,

Rev. Carol Lefevre

New Perspectives on…everything? Our community circle experience.

I recently became a Minister, a Minister without my own chapel…so I thought to myself, “How can I give back to others and my community in a unique way?” What seemed like a small thought soon turned into a decision to form a new company called New Perspectives http://www.newperspectivesministry.ca  New Perspectives is a way of seeing the world and people around us in a new light…one that is kinder, realistic, and much more open. Since my intent is to bring new perspectives in the thinking, actions, feeling and spiritual lives of others, the name really fits for me.

That being said, I decided that I wanted to create the feeling of community and inclusiveness, not only for others, but for myself. Years ago I co-created a community circle that went from 5 people to over 60! It was a beautiful experience that I still reflect on today. I recognize that being open and vulnerable to others about how we feel about ourselves and life can be powerfully healing. To go beyond hearing, and to really listen to the voices and spirits of others is a precious gift that produces sisterly/brotherly love and a unique bond.

The beginning of a new moon cycle and the first of 2012, was the perfect time to begin and have our opening circle. So, what is the purpose of the New Perspectives Community Circle? The purpose of community circles is to bring people together to share their values, wisdoms, culture, talents and gifts. This idea is based on the foundation that we need all our lives to be filled with happiness, meaning, purpose, creativity, money, energy, friendship, relationship and more.

Traditionally, people gather in circles when they come together to eat, share and to create. The shape of a circle helps to improve communication, and sitting in a simple circle brings people together in a meaningful, empowering, healing, and creative way. It allows us to experience belonging and contribute to relationship building.

When we meet in a circle with the intention to truly listen to one another, we begin to experience the power and support that cultivates from the circle. When we sit together in a circle we create a safe space for each person to be themselves, to learn, and to grow. The circle is a holding place where our thoughts, feelings and inner wisdom can be brought forth. Circles can be a space to be nourished and inspired – a holding place where we as individuals and as groups can clarify our focus on what has real meaning and value. Because the center of a circle is related to our own inner center, it reminds us to be present while we listen and while we speak. Sitting in a circle is an opportunity to be present in ourselves and with each other.

The 22nd was a blustery day with lots of rain so a few didn’t make it and others fell ill. Our total for the group was 6, three men and three women, a perfect balance of the Divine Feminine and Masculine energies. The great thing about it, was that 3 members had never been in a circle before so it was a new experience for them. The smaller circle provided an opportunity to repeat each question twice, compelling each of us to dig a little deeper the second round. Going into a deeper space, opens the heart, mind and our being to new possibilities and ideas that emerge.

I came up with a list of topics to get the ball rolling and the evening before the circle my partner and I chose a dozen or so we felt would be appropriate for our first gathering. I printed them up, put them in a bowl and as a group decided to go with whatever question was drawn from the bowl. My hope is that as our circle evolves, the members will contribute questions that we can incorporate into the mix.

We began with each person sharing their name and a little about why they were at the circle. Followed was a short meditation to ground us and open our hearts. Next our first question was selected, “Tell us something you would like less of in your life”, the next question that was pulled from the bowl was, “Tell us something you would like more of in your life”, and the last one to be drawn was “Tell us where you get your inspiration” A poem was read at the end, which I changed a little to better serve our needs…I have enclosed it below.  We completed with each person sharing how they were feeling. I found that with the smaller group we were able to do three topics before we ate, in larger circles we would do one topic or question, break for goodies then return to the circle.

For me, the social aspect afterward was fantastic. I felt that once I really listened and understood another members deepest feelings on a topic, I really was drawn to learn more about them.

There are some simple guidelines that we have:

  • Consider it a sacred space
  • One person speaks at a time; whomever has the rock
  • Speak and listen from the heart
  • Encourage and welcome diverse points of view
  • Listen with discernment instead of judgment
  • Offer experience instead of advice
  • You do not have to share
  • When in doubt or need, pause and silently ask for guidance
  • Everything in the circle is to be held in confidence
  • Speak from your own experience and beliefs rather than speaking for others
  • Open and close the circle by hearing each voice (Check-ins and check-outs)

We have decided that all the donations collected each month will be saved. twice a year we will decide, as a group what type of charitable action we would like to make with the funds. I’m am so excited about our group going out together one day and spreading good will, love and ourselves to community! I am happy to report that our first gathering yielded $60.00 of Love.

If you want to join our circle this is what you need to bring:

  • Your beautiful spirit
  • Openness to be present
  • A light snack to share
  • A love donation (to go to charity)

Join us at Soul Alchemy Healing to share with a unique group of individuals, to speak, be heard, heal, create, laugh, cry, bear witness — and be cradled in compassion. Our shared topics allow new insights and perspectives to penetrate you life. No experience necessary. Join our community and empower yourself by truly being heard!

Gatherings are the third Sunday of each month from 1:00-4:00pm

RSVP is a must, limited space available!

Contact Carol for location details @ 778-887-4400 or  Email: carol@soulalchemyhealing.com

Imagine a Person (previously Imagine a Woman)

  by Patricia Lynn Reilly

 

Imagine a person who honors their experience and tells their stories.

  Who refuses to carry the sins of others within their body and life.

 

Imagine a person who believes they are good.  A person who trusts and

respects themselves.  Who listens to their needs and desires, and then meets

them with tenderness and grace.

 

Imagine a person who has acknowledged the past’s influence on the

present.  A person who has walked through their past.  Who has healed into

the present.

 

Imagine a person who authors their life.  A person who exerts,

initiates, and moves on their own behalf.  Who refuses to surrender except

to their truest self and their wisest voice.

 

Imagine a person who names their own gods.  A person who imagines the divine

in their image and their likeness. Who designs their own spirituality and

allows it to inform their daily life.

 

Imagine a person in love with their own body.  A person who believes their body

is enough, just as it is.  Who celebrates their body and its rhythms

as an exquisite resource.

 

Imagine a person who honors the face of the god/goddess in their changing

face.  A person who celebrates the accumulation of their years and their

wisdom.  Who refuses to use precious energy disguising the changes in their

body and their life.

 

Imagine a person who values the people in their life.  A person who sits in

circles of other people.  Who is reminded of the truth about themselves

when they forget.

 

Imagine yourself as this person.

 


2011 and Beyond

Am I hallucinating, dreaming, walking in a time warp or is 2011 almost over?

As I reflect back on this year, I am in awe at how much has shifted, not only out in the world but most importantly inside of me. I have always accepted that life is a school, and that every experience is an opportunity to move forward on our evolutionary path. I really chose to stretch myself this year and in doing so I attained my BA in Metaphysical Science and also became an Ordained Minister, this developed a relationship with the Divine that I had not known before. As you might imagine, with this initiation into a new vibration came plenty of opportunity to use my new-found skills.

I took some really tough knocks this year and am on the verge of tears as I begin to recall the hardest one. It was losing my a dear friend Christine on July 31st, and with that loss came my lost relationship with her family; Julie, Graham and Christine’s husband John. I blogged about it: https://carollefevre.wordpress.com/2011/08/01/christine-wilkinson-soul-sister-and-extraordinary-friend/  I still send them all love and healing, God I wish things could be different. I was so angry and resentful I almost went mad. I don’t remember throwing a temper tantrum like that since I was 4 years old. The Buddha has a great teaching for this; “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” It certainly was the case for me!

I believe this truth “everything in the physical universe is temporary”, I honour it…of course living it can be a whole other experience. This year, I have increased my faith in the wisdom and justice of the universe. I learned forgiveness and time slowly healed the wounds of my heart, and I dared to laugh again. With loss came many new surprises and gifts, this is what I love about the Universe and surrender.

In 2011 I saw and spoke with my father for the first time in nearly 40 years. It’s still fresh and scary and weird but it’s all great! With that connections comes all the gifts of my aunts, uncles, cousins and their families. It is still in the beginning stages and I can see the potential for growth, sharing of wisdom and love; all great things. I remain open to the possibilities of connecting and sharing on an even deeper level with time.

I was fortunate to re-connect with a long time friend and soul sister, Jackie on my 50th B-day (yep, I turned 50 this year too: https://carollefevre.wordpress.com/2011/05/04/yikes-me-turning-50-years-old-is-this-right/) We were inseparable for many years. Our lives ventured in different directions and a pleasant turn of events has found us embracing our relationship again, with many new twists and turns. The nice thing about coming together again after so many years is that we both have so much to share and learn from one another.

Amazingly, a childhood buddy and cousin who I just adored also found her way back into my life. We are thinking it’s been about 32-35 years. OMG, she is spiritual, funny and a lovely woman. Interesting how I still remember her as my childhood friend. This connection has made my heart sing again and I am so very grateful.

I was forced to leave a contract position at (SEEDS) Self-Employment and Entrepreneur Development Society where I loved to facilitate and help new entrepreneurs. I was so passionate about my position there, I loved it and thought it was a great fit. It was a stressful time of injustice, betrayal and heartbreak as well. Again I had an opportunity to watch myself in action and live up to my new role as Minister. This time instead of being pissed off, angry and livid, I was able to send love and grace. It really didn’t make things easier, as far as I could tell anyhow. If Christine was here she would have said, “It might have been way worst if you didn’t do it that way, you did good my friend” Could be, all I know is that I am pleased with my evolution, I’m not stuck in a place of guilt and grief and I have let it go. I could only let it go by following the advice I would have given to a client, “if the doors keep closing, get the message, the universe has other plans for you, let it go!” Believe it or not I always seem to find solace in walking my talk. It also makes it easier to look at myself in the mirror each day.

It was at this time that I discovered a new passion and the best stress reliever I could have ever imagined…painting, from the girl who never thought I could draw to having my art exposed on an art blog…shut up! You gotta check out this blog: http://pointsthruprose.com/ Thank you Jackie!!! Sometimes I just have to give my head a shake and ask what the %$$#@*&, I am still in awe. I have found a new level of peace that I didn’t even know existed, and all I need to do is take out some paper and water colours, go figure!  Here is the blog: https://carollefevre.wordpress.com/2011/11/02/when-all-hell-breaks-loose-paint/

I was gifted a workshop called “Living From Truth” this year. I blogged about it: https://carollefevre.wordpress.com/2011/11/08/authenticity-improved-communication-and-a-deeper-more-fulfilling-life/

Doing the workshop and being a participant instead of a teacher was such a treat.  I gifted 3 clients with the experience as well. It was a great opportunity for me to get to know Ann better and the good news is that we are in the stages of a fantastic budding new friendship. (Ann was my support system when Christine passed, helping me perform last rites at the hospital and being a sounding board for me.) Connecting with my “Living From Truth”  group and doing the practices has improved my communications and an all ready amazing relationship with my husband. Who knew things could get better?

Last month with the encouragement of my friend Jackie I started a new business call New Perspectives Ministry: http://www.newperspectivesministry.ca/Homepage

I have only just got my marketing materials so next week I will end the year with the beginnings of something new.

To summarize things; the highs in 2011 have been high and the lows have been devastating. I’m not really a whiner, and when I think about the state of our world and the millions whose lives are filled with far worst devastation than mine, I can really only be grateful. Yes it was heartbreaking, yes it was a lot of hard work, but not so much that life stood still. Each day through my tears, anger, love or joy I continued to give thanks for all the blessings in my life and for my connection with God.

The changes I notice most from the effect of this year is my willingness to be in community, the deep-seated peace in my being, my phenomenal connection to the Divine and my level of gratitude for the reunions and new possibilities in 2012.

I leave you with a quote from Einstein:

“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”

In gratitude,

Carol

God Helps Those Who Help Themselves

Proverbs are popularly defined as short expressions of popular wisdom. Most of us have heard some of those old expressions, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink” and “God helps those who help themselves” or “You make your bed, so you must lie in it” and “Actions speak louder than words”. These all come to mind in my state of unrest and inability to help a friend I have recently re-connected with.

Have you ever been in a position where you tried to guide someone and no matter what guidance or advice you gave, they just wouldn’t move forward? It is as if they can’t even be present enough to hear the message you are delivering. If you are a parent of a spouse you have likely had this experience several dozen times. Those of us who are healers  often get caught between two realities and it can be a very uncomfortable place to live.

There have been so many times when I have been guided to say, “If you don’t follow through with this clearing work you will be forced by universal law to deal with it, and it won’t be a gentle experience.” I don’t want to freak people out and make them feel as though they don’t have choice so I lighten it a bit where possible by telling them a story of the collapse of my world when I didn’t pay attention. Then I might paraphrase it to something like, “There are some very challenging situations coming up for you, a clearing would really serve you best to assist in the process, and sooner than later is advised.” Or, “Please consider doing a clearing for your child, I feel they may do something self-destructive soon.”

As frustrating as it can be at times, I learned a very important lesson from my teacher Hanna Kroeger. She said that if you just meet someone, a new acquaintance, you may share your advice, insight or information with them once, if they are family or a loved one you can mention it three times, after that say nothing. They won’t follow through or even hear you and you spend all your energy falling on deaf ears. It can be so very hard for me to stand back and watch someone I care about “go down the garden path.”

It seems that some things must be experienced, no matter how difficult it may be for the rest of us to watch while sitting on the sidelines. Sometimes I want to take people buy the shoulders and shake them until they get it! I keep thinking it must feel this way for parents who are trying to assist their children to make the best choices for their futures.

This is where it all gets sticky and interesting…everyone has a Divine Plan, lessons they chose to learn through experiences, they may have even per-destined some; the worst thing is often we are not privileged to know what that plan is. Tough for us nosy types! Perhaps if we did know it would in some way upset the balance of the outcome. It is torture for those of us who only want love, and good things for those we care about in our lives. It can be an even bigger challenge if we need to release a friendship or relationship if the person doesn’t come around. In my life I have had to do this on several occasions. The strange thing is that once I released them, they shifted…which begs the question; “Was I part of the Divine plan to assist them in moving forward?” Perhaps I was, just not in the way I believed it should be.

When it comes to guidance we all need to practice patience and love to the tenth degree. Sometimes simply holding the energy for the other to move forward is all it takes, sometimes a gentle kick in the ass is more appropriate, and other times saying nothing is the best choice.

All I know is that for me, it sucks when I can see what’s coming and try to guide someone and they DON”T FOLLOW THROUGH! It is painful to watch when suddenly someone’s world is in turmoil and crashing down around them. Part of me wants to hold them and love them and the ego part of me wants to say “I told you so!”

So what do I do after many, many years of this practice? I suck it up and realize that it’s their process and they have to do what they have to do. Hmmm…what do you say to great advice that wasn’t followed and then pain and heart break proceed? A simple shrug of the shoulders, a loving embrace and, all I can say is, “Well we knew a session was needed” Fingers crossed they come and do some healing/clearing work before all hell breaks loose again.

In 2012, a special energy  will be provided to allow the healing of old wounds. It is a ray of Forgiveness gifted to humanity so we can move forward. Our job is to receive the healing by accepting forgiveness for our past errors. We must allow Love to permeate the old structures we have built around us. So for all of us who experience bringing a horse to water and it not drinking, let it go, do what you can and forgive yourself for not doing more; because very simply put, you couldn’t have.

Stay willing to provide guidance and when it is not accepted or followed up on, become a committed spiritual warrior and focus on your own divine process, this will in turn support those around you. Remember, “God helps those who help themselves.”

Blessings of much Love and Light,

Rev. Carol Lefevre

Christine Wilkinson, Soul Sister and Extraordinary Friend!

July 31st, 2011

My  friend Christine Wilkinson made this planet and in some ways, this universe a much better place.

I am heartbroken and the only way I know to ease the pain is to write. I write about a woman who was my best friend. Even though our time together on this plain was brief, the friendship we created is forever. Forever, which is the longest time.

I was so blessed to have known, worked with, and loved my dear friend, Christine Wilkinson. Of all those I have met, known and loved, Christine stands alone. Her strength of character and willingness to transform her being was like no other.

I will miss you so very much, you know that, my dearest friend.

I’m a hard nut to crack. Not too many people can break into my heart. I guess it’s because of the work I do; people always want something more of me −− healing, information, knowledge, the list goes on. Christine was one of the few individuals who never exploited our relationship. She was there as a friend −− laughing, shopping, dining, pedicures, massages and all the stuff I rarely get to experience as a normal individual on this planet. She was able to respect the boundary of friendship and healer like no one I have ever met before, and because of this I was able to enjoy a normal human life with a friend for a couple short but precious years.

Christine Wilkinson made me a better person. Knowing and loving her was an honour. Her dedication to her spiritual growth −− to being the best she could be −− was relentless and admirable. There is no doubt in my mind that in the short three years I was blessed to know her Christine achieved the highest level of understanding, mastery and peace that she so desperately focused on attaining.

She loved the childlike innocence in people. Her husband John has that essence. She often shared that she wished she had more of that quality but — did I tell her enough times? — in many ways she had those same qualities that she dearly loved in John.

Her constant quest for understanding, awareness and tolerance made her a unique and kind person on so many levels.

On so many occasions, in the short time I knew Christine I saw her devoted love for her husband John shine through. I was amazed at how much of her precious love and energy she gave him. When it came to John she tapped her reserves and was there for him, rain or shine. There were times when she was under the weather and she still insisted on taking care of him instead of resting and taking care of herself. Forgive me, but I have wondered if the constant burden and responsibility of caring for him had in some way shortened her last few months on the earth plain. But I know if you asked her she would have said, “That’s a silly notion”. In her last two years, John did some really deep spiritual work and he shifted quite a bit. This was such a joy to Christine. I remember her expressing how much it had enhanced and consecrated their relationship. Her joy always made me happy too. I felt great when Christine was elated.

I just read this: the loss of a life is often one of life’s most stressful events. It can cause a major emotional crisis. After the death of someone we love, we experience bereavement, which literally means “to be deprived by death.”

And so I am deprived….

Those day and a half excursions changed my life. We’d pick a day, cross the border and just be. We would do whatever we wanted! No expectations, no fuss, no laundry, dishes, making meals…nothing, just two women being…being nice together.

I remember on those days Christine loved a good story. I used to say “have I ever told you about the time….?” Her response would always be, “Maybe, tell me again and don’t leave anything out.” I’m still not sure if it were my stories that were terrific or if she was just giving me a stage to remember, express and share…so I’ll let my ego kick in here and say it was my stories that were extraordinary…but, of course, it was Christine.

That last day we showed up, I realized there would never be another “girls’ day out” again. That realization, and the resonance it brought to me, outcast from her family, came crashing down with such force I thought I might die myself −−of heartbreak. In some ways, for me Christie passed away on that day. There sadly would only be one chance to visit her in hospital (due to visitors being restricted to only family) I sneaked in and I performed last rites on her July 28th, 2011.

I’m aware that it very seldom happens that we are privileged to find a handful of friends that we can say “are like family” and for me Christine was one of them. And for her I was the same. In so many ways we were closer to friends than family −− less judgmental, more unconditional…hmmm, everything. Perhaps it was because we were kindred spirits: neither of us have children or close connection to our birth families . Who are we to decide what is best for another, the heart wants what the heart wants; its only our place to listen and honour what they tell us– then we should act accordingly, regardless of our opinions.

Certainly as I sit and read her journals I identify with how strong our connection was and how in her heart we were true sisters. Stronger than blood sisters. Soul sisters! It is so unfortunate that our last time together was tainted and her friendships with those closest to her unacknowledged. Hmmm, family, I think this is why neither one of us were too fussed on that notion, and it was sorely confirmed once again.

Okay, enough of that. Forgive, forgive, forgive and most importantly, move on. I feel confident in honouring my friend by transforming my anger, rage and resentment and moving into forgiveness. Yes, it was challenging not being able to see her on her death bed, but we met every night in our I Am Presence. There in a place of all that is, we shared our love, hopes, dreams and visions for a new and better existence. For me it was a painful but extraordinary process of forgiveness, the depths of which I have never before ventured. This has made me a better person, Christine’s last gift to me. Thank you, my beloved friend.

The coolest thing about a loved one transitioning is that they get to view the whole story, see the truth as it were, how things really happened. She knows the truth now.

I know she was/is my soul sister and our three years together were a gift — oh, such a gift for me — the chance for us to connect in 3D for one last time.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross